For the past few weeks, maybe even the past month or so, I’ve been on sort of an Ethan Hawke deep dive. I like Ethan Hawke as an actor and while I haven’t seen everything he’s ever done, I really like Training Day and I would probably put Dead Poets Society and Gattaca in my top 20 — actually, maybe top 30. I know some people find him pretentious, but whenever I’ve seen him interviewed, he always seemed like a good guy. A few years ago, he did a TED Talk called Give Yourself Permission to be Creative that popped up in my feed recently, and watching it again reminded me how much I resonate with a lot of the same ideas he has about creativity. For example, one of the first things he says in the talk is “…a lot of people really struggle to give themselves permission to be creative, and reasonably so, we’re all a little suspect of our own talent.” I think we’ve all felt the same way at one point or another in our lives. I know I have. Whether it’s Imposter Syndrome or the nagging voice of Resistance, occasionally doubting our own talents and gifts seems to be par for the course when trying to live a creative life — and that’s before we even get to purpose, which is a completely different animal.
At one point in the video, he was talking about the importance of human creativity and how expressing ourselves first begins by knowing ourselves. “What do you love?” he asks. “If you get close to what you love, who you are is revealed to you and it expands.” Now that is interesting to me because when I think about what I love, I come up with things like writing, painting, reading, and talking with people about their lives — all of which are processes. And while I currently do all of these things, I had to ask myself whether the acts themselves are what I love. Several years ago, I had a conversation with Dan Winters where he was saying that for him, the doing — whether that means taking photographs, making art, or writing — is what he loves the most. “Through that process,” he said, “is where the passion is actually expressed.”
I completely relate to that, so I decided to go a little deeper and look back over the course of my life and career to see if I couldn’t connect some of the dots on the creative side of my life. I’ve talked before about how diverse my career has been, and each time I do I’m reminded of how grateful I am to have been given so many opportunities.
For those of you who may be new, some of the highlights of my creative life include prop master, milliner, welder, car stereo installer, post production assistant, graphic designer, Flash developer, Photoshop instructor, author, and art director. I’ve worked in theater, post production for film and television, visual effects, and entertainment at a major Hollywood movie studio, and I can honestly say that I’ve enjoyed — at least at the time — every path my career has taken. There are a few that I miss more than others, but collectively I think they all contribute to a singular theme of learning and solving problems, whether technical, aesthetic, or otherwise.
When I was in high school, my mom asked me what I would do with my life if money were no object. I thought about it and as much as I loved illustration and photography — both of which I did nearly every day — I told her that I would like to spend the rest of my life enrolling in various classes around the world and just learning and exploring new skills. I was definitely a curious child and I think I’m just as curious as an adult — maybe even more so — which at least partially explains the diversity in my resume. I’ve been lucky enough to have spent the bulk of my professional life surrounded by interesting and creative people doing what they love, which occasionally inspired me to tack in new directions that I may or may not have discovered on my own. I think this is one of the reasons I value community the way I do — what interests you will likely also interest me.
Of course, I have at times been envious of people who could hone one particular skill that lights them up, but I just don’t think I’m wired that way — and maybe I never was. Honestly, I think that’s one of my superpowers. It certainly helps me to be able to talk with pretty much anyone about pretty much anything. I tend to know just enough about things to be able to carry on an intelligent (and hopefully an engaging) conversation with people who know way more than I do.
To go back to Ethan Hawke for a minute, one of the things I’ve learned in this recent deep dive is that he seems to know exactly who he is and what fills his cup. For him, telling stories and making movies seem to be as natural and necessary as breathing, and that is inspiring because I don’t think I’ve felt that way about anything since I was a kid and I was drawing all the time. Enthusiasm and expertise are infectious. We love hearing from people who are passionate about what they do. Ethan thinks about movies, he talks about movies, and most importantly, he makes movies. That’s who he is. Other than his kids, expressing himself through movies seems to be the thing he loves the most in the world.
I have spent much of my life bouncing from one thing — one form of creative expression — to another, looking for something that would be enough to hold my interest. I’ve also felt guilty for not finding it. But maybe curiosity itself is my thing — and nothing holds my interest because my interest keeps moving. I find people and process endlessly fascinating. For me, there are always new things to learn and new stories to hear and to tell. In the words of Walt Whitman, “I am large, I contain multitudes.” My creative fuel comes from learning and expressing. I’ve said many times that I am happiest when my hands are in motion. Today, that means painting, but it could just as easily be throwing ceramics, blowing glass, or making electronic music. Regardless of whether or not I pursue any of those things myself, I’m equally fascinated by talking with people who do and sharing those conversations — because process itself is what I love, and trying to limit it to a single endeavor is simply a fool’s errand.
QUESTIONS
What are some of the things you love?
Have you found yourself drawn to one particular pursuit over multiple pursuits? If so, why?
Hit reply, leave a comment, or email me at talkback@jefferysaddoris.com.
LINKS
Give Yourself Permission to be Creative | Ethan Hawke | TED
Maya and Ethan Hawke’s Closet Picks
In the Screening Room with Ethan Hawke and Maya Hawke
What No One Told Ethan Hawke About Being Famous
How Ethan Hawke Ended Up In Taylor Swift's New Music Video
I've always struggled with the idea of being one particular type of artist.
While most people that know me would say I'm a photographer, I hate being limited to that.
I make block prints, enjoy pottery, and building gardens.
Even in the world of photography, I struggle with labels- I make client work, yes, and mainly portraits, but I'm also an artist.
One of my favourite art films is 'For No Good Reason' about Ralph Steadman. And contsantly reminding myself that I can create for no good reason is, well, enough.
Ethan Hawke is just great. I wasn’t the biggest fan of “Boyhood” but in my opinion, he made that movie. And yes, he was excellent in “Training Day.”
I’ll tell you, I had a creative crisis that lasted about 8 years. I completed a master’s in poetry, and really thought writing was my thing. I was certain of it. But a couple of years after I completed my master’s, I found it harder and harder to write. After awhile it became excruciating; I just couldn’t do it anymore.
Finally I had to admit to myself that the desire wasn’t coming back, and I could either be miserable or do something different with myself. So I hit photography pretty hard. I went out five or six days a week for years. I also got moderately into graphic design and had a blast with that, too.
Then I started working here and there on some side gig work with some folks, one of whom was a Disney animator. Thank goodness I did, because I found out my problem.
I thought I was into writing. Turns out I’m not. I’m into storytelling, and writing is the way that makes the most sense for me to express that. This not only helped me make writing make sense to me again, but I understood what I was doing with the photography and the graphic design, too. I was relieved to discover that those other pursuits weren’t wasted efforts. Like Rick Rubin says, it all cross-pollinates.